Persuasive+Writing

__** Persuasive Writing **__  __ Introduction: __ My class has been learning about persuasive writing. This page is to show my improvement since my first sample of writing and my last sample of writing. This is my first sample of persuasive writing.

__ Sea turtles are definately the best turtles in the world! __

Sea turtles are definately the best turtles in the world! They have a shell that no other turtle could smash so their shell is the best. They are the best because they are bigger then all the other turtles so they are the best in that aspect. They have starred in an awesome movie called 'Finding Nemo', in that movie they were very wise and they could even speak so that shows they are very intelligent and I don't know any other kinds of turtles that have been in a movie. They are great swimmers and I think they look the best out of all the turtles because of their huge shell and flippers. I think the main reason that they are so cool is that they can live for over 100 years and I don't think that any other turtle can live for that long.Therefore I conclude my argument about sea turtles, but I do believe that I have given you good enough reason to believe that sea turtles are definately the best turtles in the world!

__ Reflection: __ In this story I think that I have supported my main idea well and constantly repeated that turtles are the best effectively.

__ Goals: __ 1. Write in paragraphs 2. Use more persuasive language 3. Use punctuation that will keep the audience interested

__ Parent Comment: __ I liked the positive statement at the beginning and George has supported his argument with good and amusing facts. I believe Sea Turtles are the best turtles in the world!

__ Introduction: __ This is my final sample of writing and hopefully there is some improvement from my last sample.  __ Rugby Union is the best sport in the world __             Rugby union is the best sport in the world. Rugby union is the best sport in the world because of all the hard hits, spectacular speed and terrific tries. If you play soccer or league or any other sport for that matter, I am here to say "**STOP PLAYING THAT SPORT**!" You should play rugby, everyone should play rugby. Here’s why. There is no other sport that can even compare to rugby union. Rugby league is so stupid! It looks like all the players are humping the ground when they are tackled. Soccer is useless. They are a bunch of weaklings that fake a whole lot of injuries when they want to get a penalty, sure they get paid a lot of money. But who wants to be a weakling? However, rugby union is for hard men. You have to be tough if you want to exceed. No humping the ground or faking injuries, just hard, physical and no mucking around rugby. So now you can see that rugby union really is the best sport in the world. Rugby has a whole lot of exciting players. I love to watch Jerry Collins absolutely smash other players in his tackles. I love to watch the amazing kicks performed by Johnny Wilkinson and Daniel Carter. Jonah Lomu is my favourite player of all time. He could just bowl through anyone. In league there’s Sonny Bill Williams and Willie Mason but they tackle without using their arms. As soon as Sonny Bill Williams came to union he got carded, how useless is that? People like Wendell Sailor go over to league and they don’t get carded. So you obviously need to be a bit more skilled to play union than you need to play league. Do you still want to play league and soccer? If you do then you are crazy but I will tell you a bit more about the best sport in the world, rugby. Rugby is an ultimate test of power, strength and skill. All the forwards have to be tough to participate in a scrum. You smash your head into the person in front of you and then you drive as hard as you can. The forwards require a lot of skill in the lineout to get it just right and they also have to be very strong to lift up a lock that are usually over 100kgs.The backs have to be quick and tough. They also have to have good ball skills because when the ball comes out they have to spread wide unless they try to make a break. So basically the forwards do all the hard work to get the ball back to the backs and then the backs get all the glory. In league it is basically always the same. You get tackled 5 times and then you kick it and then the other team does the same until eventually 1 team scores. Soccer is so boring, they waste so much time kicking the ball back and fourth to each other until eventually they decide to try and gain some ground and then the ball gets taken off them and the other team does the same. So now do you see that rugby requires a lot more strength, power and skill then all the other main sports? Well that is about all I can say about rugby but I’m pretty sure that you aren’t a weakling that plays a sport like soccer and you would never play a sport like league because it’s so stupid. Rugby union is the best sport in the world. Rugby union is the best sport in the world because of all the hard hits, spectacular speed and terrific tries. So, what sport do you want to play?   __ Reflection __ In this story I think I have grabbed the audiences attention more than my first one by asking them questions so they have to think. I also believe that I have a good opening paragraph. __ Parent Comment: __ I think I have bred an angry rugby fanatic! George has used very good persasive language although I do still enjoy soccer.

**__Persuasive Writing Self Assessment __**

·  Spelling || Most commonly used words are spelt correctly || No more than 10% spelling errors and developing breadth in word usage || No more than 5% spelling errors and developing breadth of word usage appropriate to genre || ·  Main Ideas || includes several ideas, some with supporting detail || beginning to support main ideas with increasing detail || consistently includes details to support main ideas || Ideas are linked logically through paragraphs || beginning to vary sentences using conjunctions || varies sentence beginnings and length beginning to vary sentence structures in a variety of ways and may use complex sentences || varies sentence beginnings and sentence length to suit purpose. Sentence structures varied using complex sentences with subordinate clauses. || ·   Repetition || Uses repetition without effect || beginning to use repetition and achieve desired effect || Uses repletion effectively ||
 * || Lvl 2 || Lvl 3 || Lvl 4 ||
 * Surface Features
 * ·  Punctuation || Mostly correct use of full stops, capitals, commas and question marks. Beginning to use question marks || Mostly correct use of full stops, capitals, commas, exclamation marks speech marks and question marks ||  Accurate use of full stops, capitals, commas, exclamation marks speech marks, question marks, apostrophes, parentheses, ||
 * ·  Vocabulary || || || ||
 * Deeper Features
 * ·  Paragraphing || some sequencing is evident || ideas are beginning to be organised into paragraphs ||  paragraphs are easy to read and have supporting detail for main ideas.
 * ·  Sentence Structure || beginning to vary sentence length and beginnings
 * Specific Language Features
 * ·  Emotion || beginning to use emotive words ||  beginning to use emotive language that appeals to audience  || Uses emotive language effectively to convey desired message to audience ||
 * ·  Structure || attempts to grab audience attention and give an opinion statement || Grabs audience attention and attempts to give clear opinion statement ||  Grabs audience attention and gives clear opinion statement  ||

Teacher Comment

I really like how you developed your writing through this unit. I like how your ideas are sequenced and your enthusiasm comes through yoru personal voice. Well Done